Welcome to the kooky kingdom where the dominant Queen Aggravain won’t let any princess marry her son Prince Dauntless unless she can pass one of many preposterous tests to determine if she is of authentic genuine royal blood. Making matters worse, the queen won’t let anybody else in the kingdom marry until Dauntless is married, making for a lot of cranky and anxious citizens. Perhaps the most anxious is Lady Larken who finds herself sitting on the nest and needs to marry Sir Harry as soon as possible to avoid public disgrace. Their only hope – Princess Winnifred from the swampland. But you can just call her Fred.

The San Dieguito Academy staged a thoroughly entertaining and creative production of this offbeat classic. Monet Payne leads the cast as the irrepressible, moat-swimming Princess Fred, her commanding presence and voice accompanied by a natural flair for comedy that makes each of her scenes memorable – especially her man-hungry, Shy introduction to the kingdom, her reminiscing about the Swamps of Home (complete with curlers in her hair and, fittingly, a mudpack on her face), and her “singing like a bird” in Prince Dauntless’ I’m in Love with a Girl Named Fred song that has Fred doing a little shoobe-doo-bop-bopping.

Speaking of which, the cast features a couple of guys who get so much more humor out of their roles than is usually found. Jesse Bradley is Prince Dauntless the Drab who tries to rise above his name by wearing an un-drab pink polo shirt. He’s actually a little closer to Dauntless the Dim as the not-so-bright blond prince who is easily distracted by shiny or colorful objects. His hilariously pouty, frustrated, and driven need to get the girl are a hoot. Brett Alters is the ladies’ man Sir Harry who attracts the women with charm, humor, and an easy confidence. He’s easily “seduced,” but not so easily bonded into marriage. But in the end his heart belongs to the fair Lady Larken (Laura Schwebel with a lovely soprano voice), and so Sir Harry heads off to the swamps to find a true princess and get that Dauntless boy married.

Of course, that’s going to be over Queen Aggravain’s dead body. Dory Mastrogany is the towering, intimidating, talkative queen who works with her amusing minion Wizard (Gedaly Guberek) who is more than eager to do anything the queen bids – including destroying the dreams of young princesses with a game show-host tactfulness and giving the prima donna queen a massage as they dream up the outrageous test to use against Fred. Lee Pollero is the very cool, mute king who still manages to talk a lot and does so with great humor, highlighted by his teaching young Dauntless about the birds and the bees. Gage Derringer is terrific as the Jester who lives for tormenting the queen whenever possible (including use of a whoopie cushion). He joins the Minstrel (Clay Stefanki) and Lady Larken for the Normandy scene that has them preparing to go vacationing (the king even puts on some suntan lotion), and he delivers a great solo showing off his very soft shoes.

Performed April 21 - 30, 2005.

Rob Hopper
National Arts Digest